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feministalchemist

The Start of a New Journey

Updated: Nov 12, 2020

There is something magical about being somewhere where no one knows you. All of a sudden, you are not bound by anyone’s expectation of you. You can be whoever you want. Dress how you want, have a fling if you want. Yet leaving the geometric skylines of the city to be nestled in a valley between towering waves and points of mountain ranges, still something familiar tugs and pulls at you like pegs anchoring a tent to the earth.


Sometimes we travel thousands of kilometres away only to find the same landscape, because the landscape we really wished to alter was the one within ourselves.

What one thought could be different turns out oddly the same, and it is in those moments we recognize what is inside. What baggage we are carrying that is not serving us, what beliefs of ourselves we are projecting out into the world, what values we hold dear at our core. Sometimes we travel thousands of kilometres away only to find the same landscape, because the landscape we really wished to alter was the one within ourselves.



This collection of writings started during the period of our lifetime which is yet to be given the name that it will known by for generations to come…”The COVID Pandemic”, “The Global Lockdown”, “The Great Transformation of 2020”. How fitting that during this time I was scheduled to be travelling, to Namibia and Germany.



I had contemplated taking a journey to visit old friends in Sicily. But, as fate would have it, I got stuck in Toronto at my parents’ house when my flights were cancelled, and could not fly back to the Caribbean either, where I’m currently renting an apartment. So, the only places I could journey were in my own mind.



I spent hours in my parents’ basement sorting through my belongings. After packing up the stuffed animals and deciding that not even Goodwill can make use of my black latex Le Chateau pants circa 1998, I came across boxes of mementos from past travels. Coins from different countries, photos developed from disposable cameras, scraps of faded paper carefully stored in a clear plastic bag - the logos of bus companies, hostels and tourist attractions peeking through in an array of fonts and colours. Memories of my many journeys came flooding back and all of the lessons learned along the way.


Part of me wants to write articles that will keep you coming back for something of practical use…where to go at what time of year, which food to try, local customs and must have experiences. But, as much as I appreciate the colourful insights of travel bloggers, I can’t see myself as one -- I’m not outgoing per se, I’m not much for socializing, I love to travel, but I don’t like to bounce from place to place. I normally settle in places for months, if not years at a time. My intuition tells me though that what I’m meant to share with you are my stories of searching, of my journeys into myself and what I've found there.



I'm grateful for this crazy year 2020 because I've reunited with my first love – writing. I can't help but wonder how many others have been able to navigate these turbulent waters only to find themselves on a long forgotten island of refuge, rich with soul food?


How much incredible art is going to emerge? How many artists will emerge? How will people feel when they return back to unsatisfying work that prioritizes capital over communities? And, what action will that inspire them to take?


I’m part of the fortunate few that actually does a passion as a career, and as long as I have a laptop and reasonable access to Internet, I can do it from anywhere. The common reaction I get is “You’re so lucky!” or, (insert hater tone here), “Well, aren’t you lucky!”. Every success has some form of “luck” sprinkled throughout, but sorry folks, I will not belittle my achievement for your comfort.


My work involves travel because I set my sights on it. I can post a picture of a journal entry complete with the date that shows exactly where I asked the universe for a career that allows me to travel. I set my sights on it and never let go of it.


And I suffered disappointments in the name of my dream as well – I’ve left people I have loved, people I’ve loved have left me and I’ve gone long stretches without seeing my family. My belongings are currently scattered between three countries, I don’t have a permanent residence, a car or a driver’s license for that matter (but I’m working on that one).


I made my decisions and choices based on seeking out my joy. Unless your joy looks like mine, our lives won’t look the same.

The point is, I made decisions and choices. Decisions that have consequences and choices that involved sacrifice. For everything I have that one envies, I could envy what someone else has that I don’t. But I don’t envy them. I made my decisions and choices based on seeking out my joy. Unless your joy looks like mine, our lives won’t look the same.


And that’s just fine. Because if we both experienced the same thing, how rich of a conversation could we really have?


Welcome to my journey. It's going to be wild one, I can feel it!



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